Getting to know each other1 min read
You matched. So what do you say now?
The first message does not need to be brilliant. Eight simple ideas to open the conversation after a match, and what to do if no reply comes.
The first message does not need to be brilliant. Above all, it should give the other person an easy way to reply.
A detail from their profile, genuine curiosity or a light question is often enough to start a conversation.
Start from a detail in their profile
- “You listed hiking as a passion: a short walk or a dawn start?”
- “Your photo by the sea makes me want to be there. Do you have a favourite spot?”
- “You say you love cooking: which dish always turns out right?”
Only use a detail that is really on their profile.
Explore something you share
- “We both love concerts: small venues or festivals?”
- “Same love of coffee, it seems. What’s your usual order?”
Something in common is a starting point. It does not replace curiosity about the person.
Ask an easy question
- “A free evening this week: what do you pick?”
- “What little thing can put you in a good mood instantly?”
- “You introduce me to a song, I introduce you to one?”
Leave room for the reply
Avoid sending a string of questions or several follow-ups close together. A conversation is built by two people, at each one’s pace and will.
And if there is no reply?
No reply does not tell you what the other person thinks. It is not a reason to insist.
You can leave the conversation open and keep discovering other profiles.
To wrap up
Pick a sentence you could say naturally. A simple, personal message is better than a copied line that does not sound like you.